Why Me?

panicIt’s a question many people ask – “Why me? Why do I always get the sharp end of the stick?” Or it might be the alternative – “Why not me? How come they get it so easy and I get it so tough? Why isn’t it easier for me”

For all of these questions the answer is… wait for it… YOU! That’s right. YOU are responsible for where you are, 100%. Now, before you start sending me any missives, I’m not suggesting you blame yourself for all the ills of the world or bury yourself in a mountain of guilt or despair. That would be a pointless. What I am saying is that where you are in life is the result of your behaviours and, whether you are consciously aware of it or not, you are responsible for them.

How do I achieve success?

The path to a better experience of life is obvious then, isn’t it? It’s just a matter of better behaviours, right?

That’s an interesting question for two reasons. First, it assumes that success is about “doing”. Every article, book and movie that deals with success reveals that “doing” is often a small part of the story. A hamster that runs faster on the hamster wheel doesn’t get anywhere any quicker than all the other exhausted hamsters. So, while “doing” is always involved in success, it’s where the “doing” comes from that matters. Before all else comes mindset or attitude.

The second interesting point is that the question assumes you are in charge of all of your behaviours. In a sense, this is only partly true. If it were true, if I (or Napolean Hill or Tony Robbins or Richard Branson or Warren Buffett or any other coach) were to give you a list of things to do, you would do them easily, no questions asked, and attain success. Is that reality? You know it’s not. If it was, the self-help industry would be less than a shadow of its current self and the world would be full of happy, fulfilled and successful people.

The right behaviours and the right mindset are elusive to most.

Why is it so hard to change?

If you have ever experienced a pattern in your life (you have – if it’s not obvious, it’s because you don’t have the perspective to see it yet) you know that something beyond bad luck is at work. The truth is, all outcomes are driven by you. Achieving similar outcomes means you’ve become good at it. Believe me, I know from bitter experience. In my 20s, I attracted the same type of person into my life for almost 10 years, each time with disastrous results. Even when I tried to do something different, it was Ground Hog Day.

Why is it so? Because what you need to change is invisible.

Let me explain. The vast majority of people on this planet think they are acting out of free will when, to be brutally honest, they behave like automatons or robots. Society and family members and advertisers and friends push their buttons and they respond in predictable ways. They are born, they grow up, they get a job, they consume, they die. That’s how it goes.

For the ones who are awake, however, it’s a different journey. Those who wake up are the rule breakers, the misfits, the dreamers, the pioneers. They do things differently and create a different life, consciously. Of course, waking up is the challenge.

Are you ready to be free?

If you’re one of the brave who’s ready to face up to who you really are, here’s the magic. Do you want the red pill or the blue pill? Some people prefer the dream to the responsibility of authenticity – are you ready?

Red-and-blue-pills

The behaviours and attitude that are keeping you where you are have their beginnings in your unconscious mind, and no amount of rationalising or motivational pep talks will change them. Whenever your conscious mind tells your unconscious to do something that it doesn’t feel right about, you’ll feel internal conflict and then the conscious mind will lose out.

You see, the unconscious mind will do anything to ensure your survival. The problem is, the unconscious mind often gets it wrong. If you have any doubt about that, have a look at phobic responses on Youtube. When someone unconsciously believes their life is in danger, they lose control of their behaviours. No amount of comforting or cajoling will help. The unconscious mind gets it wrong because it learned lessons from those not ready to teach, and in doing so diminished your understanding of who you truly are. Therein lies your problem and your answer.

Who are you and why are you here?

So what’s the answer?

It’s simple – deal with your unconscious stuff. Find what it is that sets you off on a path of self-sabotage – a path of getting more of what you don’t want – and then CHANGE THOSE TRIGGERS. You need to train your unconscious to start working toward what you consciously want, retraining it to iterate the following at every step of the way:

  • I AM SAFE
  • I AM POWERFUL
  • I AM LOVED
  • I AM INFINITE
  • I AM THE CREATIVE FORCE

From this place magic happens.

Good luck on the journey. If you need a tour guide, I’m here to help.