When healthy, Threes really can and do achieve success in many areas of life. They are the “stars” of human nature, and people often look up to them because of their graciousness and personal accomplishments. Healthy Threes know how good it feels to develop themselves and contribute their abilities to the world. They also enjoy motivating others to greater personal achievements than the others thought they were capable of.

Threes belief in themselves and developing their talents results in them being well liked and successful. They embody socially valued behaviours and so act as role models and living paragons. When healthy, they know they are worth effort to be “the best that they can be”. There success in doing so inspires others to invest in their own development.

For a Three, success is defined by their family, culture and social sphere. Whether it’s through the acquisition of material goods (cars, houses, jewels, etc), becoming famous in the community (actor, model), becoming a public figure (priest, politician), a Three will try to become noteworthy in their family and community. They will not be a “nobody”. As a result, Threes learn to be goal oriented and to perform (and develop) in ways to garner them praise and positive attention.

Everyone needs affirmation, attention, encouragement to thrive and Threes most exemplify this human need. But three don’t want success for the things money can buy (Sevens) or power and independence (Eights). Rather, Threes want to feel valued and worthy – without the attention and feeling of accomplishment that normally flows from success, they are afraid of slipping into a chasm of emptiness and worthlessness.

The problem comes when the Three is so focused on getting success and whatever it takes to make themselves more valuable, they become alienated from themselves. In doing so they forget what they truly want, no longer knowing what their real feelings or interests are. Their hearts desire gets left behind until they no longer recognise it. For this reason, Threes are not “feeling” people, but are people of action and achievement. Feelings get in the way of performance, so they are replaced by practical thinking and actions.

When Threes wake up from this trance they often ask “Well, what do I want” and struggle to find an answer. In a sense, they have learnt it’s not OK to be themselves and so had to be someone else to be accepted. While all types received the same messages in childhood, the Three not only heard it but began to live by it.

High functioning Threes are self-accepting and inner-directed – everything they seem to be. They model an honesty, simplicity and authenticity that is extremely inspiring to others. They see themselves realistically, accepting their limitations and appreciating their talents without taking themselves too seriously. They are tender, touchingly genuine and affectionate – truly admirable people who enjoy the admiration they receive, but do not need it.

How to Recognise a Three

Threes are easy to recognise because they look so good. Threes have a highly-developed instinct for creating an appearance that others will admire. They are physically attractive, having turned themselves into the embodiment of what passes for the current desired male or female image. They dress to please. Their speech is full of positive, self-confident, ‘can-do’ words. They smile a lot. They glow with self-assurance. Threes divert so much energy into creating an appealing image that it is hard for them to see that there’s little left for anything else. For the image can indeed hide a lack of real feeling, an absence of depth to their understanding, and little concern about anybody but themselves.

Others may experience Threes as insensitive or superficial, but at their best they can be charismatic accomplished team players.

The Three at Work

Threes are a highly motivated group. They try hard and work hard to achieve public recognition. They expect their efforts to win them prizes, especially favoured status, high profile jobs, and promotion. They are simple, sleek and direct. Because Threes are so motivated they seem like a godsend to any organisation. There is no need to push them, they will push themselves. When any job needs doing and nobody else is willing to do it, Threes will volunteer just to look good at saving the day. The outward success of Threes can cover up a lack of depth. They can be highly superficial, have few opinions of their own and tend to believe in their own success so much that they lack the willingness to test themselves and grow.

To discover the Threes on your team, ask yourself: “Who always appears confident with new people?”; “Who likes to be in fashion?” and “Who tends to volunteer when nobody else does?”

Working with a Three

They might say "Look at me and affirm my value” or find subtle ways to have this happen.

They get stressed by …

Pressure from basing how good they feel on how much they get and their status and prestige, not knowing their real feelings and values, doing too much.

They get angry because of …

Obstacles, anyone or anything that threatens or thwarts the successful achievement of their goals, incompetence, indecisiveness, inefficiency, criticism.

Get along with them by …

Speak more in terms of opportunities and solutions than of risks and problems, be more interested in concrete results, appreciate that despite their self assuredness they have doubts, acknowledge their performance if deserved.