Getting “hooked” NEVER ends well

Andrew Hughes Coach, EQ, Leadership, Personality, Strategy, Wisdom

A client came in recently with nothing much to report, other than a few minor, personnel related annoyances. All was well, at least that was the story.

Everything about my client, who I know well, said the opposite. There was a level of frustration that, once experienced, obviously hadn’t been released. As a result his personality remained attached to the issue and was reverting to go-to protective strategies, such as ignoring the protagonists and planning a bit of pay-back mischief.

So I did what I’m good at, and called bull%$#@. That’s always a challenging but exciting moment in coaching – what happens next is always telling.

It’s not my client’s first rodeo and after a bit of resistance, he did the work. And then the “aha” moment. What was really bothering him (more than he had realised) was his reaction to the situation, in circumstances where (he felt) he should have known better. New options then became obvious.

All of us have go-to strategies. We apply them because they work and are habits, unconsciously driven by an emotional response to external stimulus. If you want to do things differently and stop digging yourself a hole through reaction, take a look at the habit that seems to be getting you into trouble. Then, rather than tackle that habit head on, take a look at what’s really going on under the surface.

So, how do you know if you’ve been hooked? What’s underneath your reaction? Unlock those 2 things and work and play will get a whole lot easier.